Here is an explanation of our rating system–it’s not that intuitive; it’s based more on passion. One should note that these ratings are not mutually exclusives and some broadcasts may garner more than one rating (e.g. the film was 2$ Unworthy Tepid):
2$ Unworthy
Items rated as $2 aren’t even worth a $2 video rental. They leave you feeling as if your money would have been better spent getting a blowjob from a herpes laden syphilis ridden whore.
Disappointing
Items rated as Disappointing are simply disappointing. Often the viewer is left disappointed because either they internally project some kind of greatness for what they had just seen, or the trailer / advertisement sold the program as something that it clearly isn’t. The viewer is left dejected, disappointed, and wanton for something mediocre to clear the bad taste out of their mouths.
Masturbation Fantasy
Items rated as Masturbation Fantasy make you feel as if you’ve watched the best porn in the world. Viewers literally feel that the only way the viewing experience could have been better would have been if they were naked and masturbating while they watched.
Tepid
Items that are rated as Tepid tempt you enough to get into the tub, but certainly don’t keep you warm for very long. You feel as if you need to add new water, but are constantly prevented. Finally when you get out of the tub you don’t have that warm comfy feeling that you would normally have, and you think to yourself “I could have made a better use of that time.”
