Oh the horror that is Jon & Kate Plus 8 is finally over! I’d love to say that no one really cared about these two and their exploitation of their 6
children for profit, but the reality (no pun intended) is that we all did care. Everyone and anyone who tuned in even for a second cared, and those people (you) helped elevate these clearly undeserving people to a level of super-stardom that even the likes of great and talented actors seldom receive. So why did it happen?
Jon & Kate couldn’t get preggers, so they went for in vitro and managed to pick up twins. They wanted more kids, and did it again. Now the process of in vitro is that they implant as many eggs as are viable and see which ones last. Then they ask you to terminate a few and keep the ones that you want (usually two) but J&K didn’t want to let go they thought “Fuck it!” let’s keep all six and see what happens. Lucky them they ended up with six viables that went the full term. Kate was on bed rest from 7 weeks into the pregnancy.
Now here comes TLC which once was a great network but very quickly began competing with A&E to be *THE* reality TV network that we all tune into. A&E had The Two Coreys and Gene Simmons, TLC had J&K+8 and pretty much took the grand prize.
So we got to watch the Gosselins go through what originally was everyday life. Struggling to make ends meet, fighting with each other, unable to get out of their shitty jobs, and all the time building contempt for one another. The children of course left to be “struggle” free. Fast forward 5 years later and you’ve got reality TV history in the making (again). Never since Survivor’s first season did a show absent-mindedly make a hero out of zero worthy face: host Jeff Probst. Now once again with Kate Gosselin. Not Jon so much, but then again if you’ve got a hero then you need a villain, and J+K really both seem to take it to super proportions.
Let’s face it people after getting your testicles fed to you everyday for 10 years why wouldn’t you leave that dragging bitch Kate behind. Oh sure she’s a good mother who spends most of the year travelling for her self-help books and promoting her “If my family can make it so can yours…” all the while fucking her bodyguard, and leaving “poor” Jon out in the cold…
Still A&E enjoyed record ratings this final season, and the reality (pun intended) is that they would have continued to enjoy the ratings skyrocket even higher. With separation shenanigans, Kate bangin’ on the bodyguard, and Jon banging on the plastic surgeon who did Kate’s tits’ daughter how can you not have the ratings continually propelled into the stratosphere.
But with Jon’s smoking and drinking and whoring it really became too difficult for A&E to showcase Jon as that caring, loving, nurturing, bossed around, wimpy father who’s testicles are fed to him in an upper cut sandwich. So they canned the bastard, and publicly announced the show’s name change K+8. This of course gives them brilliant positioning to now take their multimillion dollar franchise and kick it up old school against the Octomom show…
Poor Jon you’re just left to your whores, drinks, and pot…not to be out done however he decided to take on A&E and sue them for exploiting his children…why not before? I mean it wasn’t exploitation the entire 5 years prior? Really? What’s wrong with you people. As much as Jon and Kate detest each other these days, it remains to be seen whether they get over themselves and reconcile for the sake of the kiddies.
For certain the pain of losing the paparazzi, the fame, and the continually growing salaries they’d become accustomed too will pale in comparison to what their emotional scarred, and now mentally deranged children will have to go through when they spill the beans to their therapists 10-20 years from now.
Good on ya’ J+K at least all that coin you’ve made can be put to expensive psychologists, top-notch psychiatric care, and padded rooms for the family when they get older….
Sadly its goodbye to the dysfunctional duo. Their actions will not be lost to their children however; instead they will forever be able to share the embarassement of their parents for decades to come as YouTube videos, television digital archives, e-mails, posts, pictures, and headlines around the world are saved forever in the electrons chasing each other around the circuits of the Internet.
For those who care A&E is working on a new hero show for Kate+8, and likely another network will pick up the villain show for Jon-8.
The fallout will likely arrive on our doorsteps this September, but for now you and I can both stop looking over our shoulders to see if Kate’s crazed hairstyle is lurking in the darkness waiting to jab a jagged edge into our necks.
Overall Rating: $2 Unworthy
YOUTUBE MADDNESS: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jon+and+kate+plus+8&search_type=&aq=0&oq=jon+and+kate
